With promotions, discounts and doorbusters already well under way on Thanksgiving Day itself, many big-box retailers are making Black Friday stretch longer than ever. The Lede is checking out the mood of American consumers in occasional vignettes Thursday and Friday as the economically critical holiday shopping season kicks off.
With Cease-Fire Joy in Gaza, Palestinian Factions Revive Unity Pledges
Label: World
GAZA — A cease-fire that halted eight days of lethal conflict between Israel and Hamas brought widespread jubilation to Gaza on Thursday as thousands of flag-waving residents poured into the streets and competing Palestinian factions sought to use the moment to revive their repeated efforts to unify, while in Israel, the mood was more cynical and subdued.
The cease-fire agreement, which took effect on Wednesday night and seemed to be holding through Thursday, averted a full-scale Israeli ground invasion of Gaza. It did not resolve the underlying issues between the antagonists but said they would be addressed later, in a vague process that would not begin until at least 24 hours of calm had elapsed.
The wording of the agreement, reached under strong Egyptian and American diplomatic pressure, allowed both sides to claim some measure of victory in the battle of aerial weaponry that had killed at least 150 Palestinians and five Israelis over the past week. Whether the agreement succeeds could provide an early test of how Egypt’s new Islamist government might influence the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, the most intractable in the Middle East.
Gaza City roared back to life after more than a week of nonstop Israeli aerial assaults had left the streets vacant. Gazans carried flags not just in the signature green of Hamas, the militant group that governs Gaza, but also the yellow of its rival Fatah faction, the black of Islamic Jihad and the red of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine.
“It’s the first time in 70 years I feel proud and my head held high,” said Mohamed Rajah, 71, a refugee from Haifa, Israel, who rushed to kiss four masked militants of the Islamic Jihad faction as they prepared for a news conference. “It’s a great victory for the people of Palestine. Nobody says it’s Hamas, nobody says it’s Islamic Jihad or Fatah — Palestine only.”
Ismail Haniya, the Hamas prime minister of Gaza who had largely remained in hiding after the initial Israeli assault on Nov. 14 that killed Ahmed al-Jabari, the head of the Hamas military wing, appeared at a unity rally alongside Mustafa Barghouti of the Palestinian National Initiative, a member of the Palestinian leadership that governs the Israeli-occupied West Bank and who has spent the past several days in Gaza. Mr. Barghouti said the leaders of all Palestinian factions would meet in Cairo in coming days to discuss reconciling their differences.
“The Palestinian people have won today,” Mr. Barghouti told hundreds outside the parliament building. “We must continue this victory by making our national unity.” Mr. Haniya, in a televised speech later, said “The blood of Jabari united the people of the nation on the choice of jihad and resistance.”
With Israeli forces still massed on the Gaza border, a tentative calm in the fighting descended after the agreement was announced. Some of the tens of thousands of Israeli reservists called up during the crisis appeared to be making preparations to redeploy away from staging areas along the Gaza border where the Israeli military had prepared for a possible invasion of Gaza for the second time in four years.
In southern Israel, the target of more than 1,500 rockets fired from Gaza over the past week, wary residents began to return to routine. But schools within a 25-mile radius of the Palestinian enclave remained closed.
A rocket alert sounded at the small village of Nativ Haasara near the border with Gaza on Thursday morning, sending residents running for shelter. The military said the alert had been a false alarm.
Israel Radio said a dozen rockets were fired from Gaza in the first few hours of the cease-fire, but Israeli forces did not respond. In the rival Twitter feeds that offered a cyberspace counterpoint to the exchanges of airstrikes and rockets, the Israel Defense Forces said they had achieved their objectives of severely damaging Hamas’s military capabilities.
At the same time, Israeli security forces said on Thursday that they had detained 55 Palestinian militants in the West Bank after confrontations. The army said the detentions were designed to “continue to maintain order” and to “prevent the infiltration of terrorists into Israeli communities.”
Many residents in the south expressed doubt that the agreement would hold, partly because at least five Palestinian rockets thudded into southern Israel shortly after the cease-fire had commenced.
Texans playing Lions for a spot in the playoffs
Label: LifestyleDETROIT (AP) — The Houston Texans have put themselves in a position to be the NFL's first team to seal a spot in the playoffs and to move a step closer toward earning home-field advantage in the AFC.
Houston (9-1) has won four straight and is 4-0 on the road this season, giving the Texans a great shot to be in consecutive postseasons for the first time.
"It shows the progress we've made," said tight end Owen Daniels, who has been with the franchise for seven of its 11 years of existence. "A few years ago, it took us until the end of the season to get that ninth win. We're at that ninth win already.
"We're trying to stack 'em up, but it's good that those are possibilities this early in the season."
Houston needs to win at Detroit (4-6) on Thursday and have a handful of teams lose, or tie, to earn a postseason bid by the end of the weekend.
The Lions, meanwhile, will have to pull off a string of upsets against a slew of good teams to reach the franchise's goal of making it to consecutive postseasons for the first time since the mid-1990s.
Just when it looked like Detroit was living up to the hype generated with last year's breakout season by winning three of four games to climb back .500 earlier this month, the Lions lost two in a row. And that has made last season seem more like an aberration than the start of successful run for a floundering franchise that hit rock bottom in 2008 as the NFL's first 0-16 team.
"We're not thinking about playoffs or anything else," Lions coach Jim Schwartz said. "We're thinking about the Houston Texans and that's plenty for us to think about right now."
Like all good teams, the Texans have proven they can win even when they don't play well.
Houston trailed the lowly Jacksonville Jaguars last week at home by 14 points in the fourth quarter before rallying for a 43-37 win in overtime.
The Texans' defense, which has been among the NFL's best all year, struggled until it made stops when they were needed. It didn't hurt that quarterback Matt Schaub and receiver Andre Johnson had career-best games.
Schaub connected on 43 passes for 527 yards passing, both totals tying for second most in league history, and Johnson set a personal best with 273 yards receiving. His franchise-record fifth touchdown pass was a screen to Johnson, who did the rest on a 48-yard score for the game-winner.
"You just never know in this league week to week what kind of game you're going to be in and we got caught in a shootout type of game with a lot of offense," Houston coach Gary Kubiak said. "We were fortunate enough to find a way to win."
Detroit did enough to lose 24-20 to the Green Bay Packers last week at home, where it had plenty of opportunities to get a much-needed win. The Lions' woes were made worse by a significant injury and distraction.
Left tackle Jeff Backus couldn't finish the first half because of a hamstring injury, which seemed to be in his right leg, and his 186-game starting streak that includes every game of his career is expected to end Thursday.
"It's hard to replace a rock that's been there for 12 years," said veteran center Dominic Raiola. "It's just different without him out there."
Detroit drafted Riley Reiff with the 23rd pick overall this year, planning to groom him as player to eventually replace Backus. The rookie might have to take on defensive end J.J. Watt, who ranks among NFL leaders with 11½ sacks and leads all defensive linemen in the league with 11 passes defended.
Houston, though, won't have to worry about No. 2 receiver Titus Young taking advantage of one-one-one coverage because the Lions announced Monday he would be inactive because of his "unacceptable" behavior during the game against the Packers.
"When you're a player, it's your job to make the team happy," Schwartz said. "It's not the team's job to make you happy."
Lions fans have not been happy when it comes to Thanksgiving Day results.
Detroit has lost a franchise-record eight straight on the holiday — by an average of three-plus touchdowns — and has only one victory in the last 11 games in its annual showcase after winning nine of 12 games from 1989-2000.
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Online: http://pro32.ap.org/poll and http://twitter.com/AP_NFL
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Follow Larry Lage on Twitter: http://twitter.com/larrylage
Recipes for Health: Apple Pear Strudel — Recipes for Health
Label: Health
Andrew Scrivani for The New York Times
This strudel is made with phyllo dough. When I tested it the first time, I found that I had enough filling for two strudels. Rather than cut the amount of filling, I increased the number of strudels to 2, as this is a dessert you can assemble and keep, unbaked, in the freezer.
Filling for 2 strudels:
1/2 pound mixed dried fruit, like raisins, currants, chopped dried figs, chopped dried apricots, dried cranberries
1 1/2 pounds apples (3 large) (I recommend Braeburns), peeled, cored and cut in 1/2-inch dice
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons unsalted butter for cooking the apples
1/4 cup (50 grams) brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/4 cup (30 grams) chopped or slivered almonds
3/4 pound (1 large or 2 small) ripe but firm pears, peeled, cored and cut in 1/2-inch dice
For each strudel:
8 sheets phyllo dough
7/8 cup (100 grams) almond powder, divided
1 1/2 ounces butter, melted, for brushing the phyllo
1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Line 2 sheet pans with parchment.
2. Place the dried fruit in a bowl and pour on hot or boiling water to cover. Let sit 5 minutes, and drain. Toss the apples with the lemon juice.
3. Heat a large, heavy frying pan over high heat and add 2 tablespoons butter. Wait until it becomes light brown and carefully add the apples and the sugar. Do not add the apples until the pan and the butter are hot enough, or they won’t sear properly and retain their juice. But be careful when you add them so that the hot butter doesn’t splatter. When the apples are brown on one side, add the vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg and almonds, flip the apples and continue to sauté until golden brown, about 5 to 7 minutes. Stir in the pears and dried fruit, then scrape out onto one of the lined sheet pans and allow to cool completely. Divide into two equal portions (easiest to do this if you weigh it).
4. Place 8 sheets of phyllo dough on your work surface. Cover with a dish towel and place another, damp dish towel on top of the first towel. Place a sheet of parchment on your work surface horizontally, with the long edge close to you. Lay a sheet of phyllo dough on the parchment. Brush lightly with butter and top with the next sheet. Continue to layer all eight sheets, brushing each one with butter before topping with the next one.
5. Brush the top sheet of phyllo dough with butter. Sprinkle on half of the almond powder (50 grams). With the other half, create a line 3 inches from the base of the dough, leaving a 2 1/2-inch margin on the sides. Top this line with one portion of the fruit mixture. Fold the bottom edge of the phyllo up over the filling, then fold the ends over and roll up like a burrito. Using the parchment paper to help you, lift the strudel and place it on the other parchment-lined baking sheet. Brush with butter and make 3 or 4 slits on the diagonal along the length of the strudel. Repeat with the other sheets of phyllo to make a second strudel. If you are freezing one of them, double-wrap tightly in plastic.
6. Place the strudel in the oven and bake 20 minutes. Remove from the oven, brush again with butter, rotate the pan and return to the oven. Continue to bake for another 20 to 25 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from the heat and allow to cool for at least 15 minutes. Serve warm or room temperature.
Yield: 2 strudels, each serving 8
Advance preparation: The fruit filling will keep for a couple of days in the refrigerator. The strudel can be baked a few hours before serving it. Recrisp in a medium oven for 10 minutes. It can also be frozen before baking, double-wrapped in plastic. Transfer directly from the freezer to the oven and add 10 minutes to the baking time.
Nutritional information per serving: 259 calories; 13 grams fat; 4 grams saturated fat; 3 grams polyunsaturated fat; 5 grams monounsaturated fat; 15 milligrams cholesterol; 34 grams carbohydrates; 4 grams dietary fiber; 91 milligrams sodium; 4 grams protein
Martha Rose Shulman is the author of “The Very Best of Recipes for Health.”
The Shrewd Shopper Carries a Smartphone on Black Friday
Label: Business
Tim Gruber for The New York Times
From left, Tara Niebeling, Sarah Schmidt, Bridget Jewell and Erin Vande Steeg are members of the social media team at the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minn.
Retailers are trying to lure shoppers away from the Internet, where they have increasingly been shopping to avoid Black Friday madness, and back to the stores. The bait is technological tools that will make shopping on the busiest day of the year a little more sane — and give shoppers an edge over their competition.
Those with smartphones in hand will get better planning tools, prices and parking spots. Walmart has a map that shows shoppers exactly where the top Black Friday specials can be found. A Mall of America Twitter feed gives advice on traffic and gifts, and the Macy’s app sends special deals for every five minutes a shopper stays in a store.
“The crazy mad rush to camp out and the crazy mad rush to hit the doorbusters have really made people think, ‘I’m just going to stay home on Black Friday,’ ” said Carey Rossi, editor in chief of ConsumerSearch.com, a review site. “This is going to invite some people back and say, ‘You know what? It doesn’t have to be that crazy.’ ”
Part of the retailers’ strategy is to slap back at online stores like Amazon.com, which last year used apps to pick off shoppers as they browsed in physical stores. But the stores are also recognizing that shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving need not require an overnight wait in line, a helmet and elbow pads. A smartphone gives shoppers enough of an edge.
“This takes away that frantic Black Friday anxiety,” said Lawrence Fong, co-founder of BuyVia, an app that sends people price alerts and promotions. “While there’s a sport to it, life’s a little too short.”
Denise Fouts, 45, who works repairing fire and water damage in Chandler, Ariz., is already using apps to prepare for Black Friday, including Shopkick, Target’s app and one called Black Friday. “There still are going to be the crowds, but at least I already know ahead of time what I’m going specifically for,” Ms. Fouts said.
Last week, Macy’s released an update to its app with about 300 Black Friday specials and their location. In the Herald Square store, for instance, the $49.99 cashmere sweater specials will be in the Broadway side of the fifth-floor women’s department.
“With the speed that people are shopping with on Black Friday, they need to be really efficient about how they’re spending their time,” said Jennifer Kasper, group vice president for digital media at Macy’s.
When shoppers keep the app open, Macy’s will start sending special deals to the phone every five minutes. The deals are not advertised elsewhere.
Walmart has had an app for several years, but recently introduced an in-store mode, which shows things like the current circular or food tastings when a shopper is near a certain location. Twelve percent of Walmart’s mobile revenue now comes from when a person is inside a store.
For Black Friday, the app will have a map of each store, with the precise location of the top sale items — so planners can determine the best way to run. “The blitz items are not where you think they would be, because for traffic reasons, maybe the hot game console is in the lawn and garden center,” said Gibu Thomas, senior vice president for mobile and digital for Walmart Global eCommerce.
Target is also testing a way-finding feature on its app at stores that include some in Seattle, Chicago and Los Angeles. If a shopper types in an item, the app will give its location.
Other app makers are betting that shoppers want apps that pull in information from a range of stores.
RedLaser, an eBay app, lets shoppers use their phones to compare prices and recently started using location data to give shoppers personalized promotions when they walk into stores, including items not on store shelves at Best Buy, for instance. RetailMeNot, which offers e-commerce coupons, now has offline coupons that will pop up on users’ cellphones when they step near 500 malls on Black Friday.
“Consumers are not going to download 40 different apps for 40 different stores,” said Cyriac Roeding, co-founder of Shopkick, a location-based app that gives shoppers points, redeemable for discounts or gifts, when they walk into stores or scan certain items.
Cease-Fire Between Israel and Hamas Takes Effect
Label: World
CAIRO — Israel and Hamas agreed to a cease-fire on Wednesday, the eighth day of lethal fighting over the Gaza Strip, the United States and Egypt said after intensive negotiations in Cairo.
The cease-fire, which took effect at 9 p.m. local time (2 p.m. E.S.T.), was formally announced by Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and Foreign Minister Mohamed Amr of Egypt at a news conference here. The agreement was aimed at quieting an escalating aerial battle between Palestinians and Israelis that had threatened to turn into an Israeli ground invasion of Gaza.
Whether the cease-fire could hold was uncertain at best, and even in the minutes leading up to the effective start time, both sides were firing at each other. But the sound of celebratory gunshots could be heard in Gaza after the agreement took effect, and Gazans ventured outside as the roar of Israeli warplanes and thud of bombs that had punctuated the past week was gone.
“This is a critical moment for the region,” Mrs. Clinton, who rushed to the Middle East late Tuesday in an intensified effort to halt the hostilities, told reporters in Cairo. She thanked Egypt’s president, Mohamed Morsi, who played a pivotal role in the negotiations, for “assuming the leadership that has long made this country a cornerstone of regional stability and peace.”
Mrs. Clinton also pledged to work “with our partners across the region to consolidate this progress, improve conditions for the people of Gaza, provide security for the people of Israel.”
Mr. Amr said Egypt’s role in reaching the agreement reflected its “historical commitment to the Palestinian cause” and Egypt’s efforts to “bring together the gap between the Palestinian factions.”
The negotiators reached an agreement after days of nearly nonstop Israeli aerial assaults on Gaza, the Mediterranean enclave run by Hamas, the militant Islamist group, and the firing of hundreds of rockets into Israel from an arsenal Hamas had been amassing in the aftermath of the three-week Israeli invasion four years ago.
Under the terms distributed after the news conference, Israel agreed to stop all land, sea and air hostilities in Gaza, including the “targeting of individuals” — a reference to militants of Hamas and its affiliates who have been killed. The cease-fire also calls on the Palestinian factions in Gaza to stop all hostilities against Israel, including rocket attacks and attacks along the border.
The agreement came despite a bus bombing in Tel Aviv earlier in the day, which Hamas and other Palestinian militant groups had applauded. Also complicating the path to the cease-fire were Israeli strikes overnight on Gaza.
It was unclear how the agreement would be enforced, but the terms stated that “each party shall commit itself not to perform any acts that would breach this understanding.”
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, who had been threatening to start another ground invasion if the Gaza rockets did not stop, said in a statement that he was satisfied, for the moment, with the outcome. But he left open the possibility of more military action.
The statement issued by his office said Mr. Netanyahu had spoken with President Obama and “responded positively to his recommendation to give a chance to the Egyptian proposal for a cease-fire and to allow an opportunity to stabilize the situation and to calm it down before there is a need to use much greater force.”
An agreement had been on the verge of completion on Tuesday, but was delayed over a number of issues, including Hamas’s demands for unfettered access to Gaza via the Rafah crossing into Egypt and other steps that would ease Israel’s economic and border control over other aspects of life for the more than one million Palestinian residents of Gaza, which Israel vacated in 2005 after 38 years of occupation.
The Hamas Health Ministry in Gaza said the Palestinian death toll after a week of fighting stood at 140 at noon. At least a third of those killed are believed to have been militants. On the Israeli side, five Israelis have been killed, including one soldier.
Around noon on Wednesday in the Gaza Strip, according to the Hamas government media office, a bomb hit the house of Issam Da’alis, an adviser to Ismail Haniya, the Hamas prime minister. The house had been evacuated. Earlier, a predawn airstrike near a mosque in the Jabaliya refugee camp killed a 30-year-old militant, a spokesman said, and F-16 bombs destroyed two houses in the central Gaza Strip.
New York Athletes Use Twitter to Gain Cult Hero Status
Label: TechnologyIf you’re one of the over 20.6 million Americans who has a Twitter account, chances are you’ve stumbled across the official SoccerGirlProblems Twitter handle, @SoccerGrlProbs, at least once while using the popular social media networking site.
SoccerGirlProblems, a feed spawned by three New York-based athletes, is a Twitter handle dedicated to the true-life outrageous complaints about everyday life as a high school or college soccer player.
The simple concept was started as a joke, but it has grown to startling dimensions.
SoccerGirlProblems has over 148,000 Twitter followers, and its explosive popularity led to the creation of a spinoff blog, a well-known YouTube account, a custom-made T-shirt business, and an official website.
Since opening in the beginning of 2012, the SoccerGirlProblems YouTube account has racked up over 3.2 million video views, and T-shirts have been selling like hotcakes. The SoccerGirlProblems Twitter page is also busier than ever, as it gained 50,000 new followers between May and November.
Punch #SGP or #SoccerGrlProbs into the Twitter search box on any given day, and you’ll immediately get a slew of hilarious tweets like “Took a long, hard stare at a pair of jeans this morning…Almost felt bad for neglecting them for so long. SWEATS IT IS,” along with other comedic gems like “family dreads thanksgiving if…i’m not on their team for flag football. Come on people what’s wrong with a little ‘friendly’ competition??”
With the SoccerGirlProblems brand finding so much success, one would expect the girls behind it to be household names by now, much like other Twitter/YouTube personalities like Jenna Marbles and Tay Zonday.
In fact, the founders of SoccerGirlProblems were afraid to reveal their identities until recently, as they feared retribution from conservative school administrators at their current school, Fairfield University.
The SoccerGirlProblems ladies believed that school officials from Fairfield would possibly find some of their hilarious tweets to be offensive or inappropriate. The founders did not want their tweets to bring negative exposure to their current or former schools.
It took over a year for the SoccerGirlProblems girls to reveal their identities publicly, but two of the three founders finally decided it was time to come out and detail how they became cult heroes via Twitter.
Carly Beyar, a South Hempstead, New York, resident and graduate of South Side High School in Rockville Centre, New York, along with Alanna Locast of Wantagh, New York, revealed that they are among the core group of tweeters handling the SoccerGirlProblems Twitter and YouTube accounts.
Locast, a graduate of Long Island’s Seaford High School, was an attacking offensive option for Fairfield until her graduation in 2011, while Beyar is still playing for the Fairfield Stags.
“It is still a shock to us that all of these girls relate to what we are saying,” Beyar said of her dedicated legion of Twitter followers in an exclusive online interview in May. “The soccer world is evidently a small one. It is comforting to know that we are not the only women soccer players out there dealing with these problems every day. Also, don’t get us wrong, we love soccer and will do anything for it; sometimes you just need to complain to keep you sane. ‘With training comes complaining.’”
Beyar and Locast, both standout high school soccer players on Long Island, think they can take SoccerGirlProblems to new heights due to the power of online marketing.
“I think it is easy to relate to our tweets when we are sarcastic and humorous,” Beyar said. “We try to take bothersome problems every day and turn it into something to just sit back and laugh about. We appreciate all of the support that our fans have given us since August. They are the best fans any Twitter account can ask for. Originally, we made this Twitter account for fun. We wanted to make it a team-based thing where everyone would tweet a problem from our team to get a laugh out of it. Little did we know how powerful the Web can be.”
Eric Holden covered the South Side Lady Cyclones girls’ soccer team in the 2010-11 season and has reported on Long Island soccer events since 2009. Follow him on Twitter @ericholden.
Social Media News Headlines – Yahoo! News
ESPN to broadcast college football playoffs
Label: LifestyleNEW YORK (AP) — The college football playoff system will be televised on ESPN for 12 years once it starts after the 2014 season, the network said Wednesday.
The title game will be played on a Monday, at least a week after the semifinals.
The deal is worth close to $500 million a year, a person with knowledge of the terms said. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because the fee had not been announced.
"Folks are going to love this playoff and the attention ESPN will give to it," BCS executive director Bill Hancock said in a statement.
ESPN's current four-year contract to air the Sugar, Orange and Fiesta bowls along with the BCS title game is worth about $125 million per year.
ESPN will own the rights to all six bowls involved in the four-team playoff system. Conference commissioners had decided that the two semifinals would rotate among those half-dozen sites; the four not involved each year will host major bowl games similar to the current BCS contests. The title game will be bid out each season through a separate process, as the Super Bowl is for the NFL.
There will be three "contract bowls" that offer automatic bids to particular conferences in years they don't host one of the semifinals: the Rose, Sugar and Orange. The network already had separate deals for the same 12-year period through the 2025 season for those games, which are affiliated with the Pac-12, Big 12, Big Ten, ACC and SEC.
The new agreement also gives ESPN the rights to the three "host bowls," which will feature at-large teams along with the top squad from the group of five conferences without ties to a contract bowl. The sites for the host bowls are still to be determined, though the most likely landing spots are the Fiesta Bowl in Glendale, Ariz., the Cotton Bowl in Arlington, Texas, and the Chick-fil-A Bowl in Atlanta.
Wednesday's agreement in principle includes rights for TV, radio, mobile, online and international.
"Because of college football's widespread popularity and the incredible passion of its fans, few events are more meaningful than these games," ESPN President John Skipper said.
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College Football Writer Ralph D. Russo contributed to this report.
The New Old Age Blog: Patience, Consciousness and White Lies
Label: HealthMy wife and I are blessed with having three “semi-independent” parents in their mid-80s living within a few blocks of us. Our children grew up knowing their grandparents as integral parts of our nuclear family, within walking distance for most of their childhoods. But now that our nest is empty, we find ourselves reliving many of the parenting issues we faced when our children were little — now in geriatric versions, at close range. As it turns out, parenting was good practice for the issues we face with our own parents.
What exactly does semi-independence mean as applied to elderly parents? Among our three, we have two canes, five walkers, one wheelchair (for long walks), four artificial joints, a pacemaker, four hearing aids and a knee brace. The list of medical conditions is long, and the list of medications even longer, requiring different color pill box organizers for morning, afternoon and evening.
Our parents all live in the same homes they have been in for many years. Keeping them safe and healthy there, as well as when they leave the house, has become a big part of our day-to-day work these days. Therein the yin and yang of parenting has returned — independence versus helicoptering.
Children’s yearning for independence begins in toddlerhood: “I can do it myself!” It escalates through childhood, accelerates with the driver’s license, and crescendos, with pomp and circumstance, at high school graduation.
The urge for independence is seen in all animal species, but relinquishing independence and accepting assistance in old age is unique to humans. For most elderly, it comes with a struggle, reflecting how hardwired our brains are for independence. The thought of getting in-home help is antithetical to our parents’ sense of self worth, exceeded only by the dread of leaving their homes for assisted living facilities. So, as tasks that were once mundane and automatic have become onerous and stressful for them, we attempt to foster autonomy while protecting them from harm, as we did with our children just a few short years ago.
Childproofing – Our home has again become hazardous, as have theirs. Furniture must be rearranged, booster seats placed on chairs to ease standing up, slippery rugs removed, lighting improved, bathrooms accessorized with handles and rails.
Dressing – Body shapes change in childhood and in old age. Our parents’ wardrobes, like those of our children’s before them, need frequent attention to preserve self-esteem. Their unwillingness to part with old clothes turns us into tailors. And, once again, we shop for slip-on sneakers with Velcro ties.
Driving – For our teens, driving was the symbolic liberation from childhood to young adulthood. For our parents, driving is the symbolic resistance to infirmity and old age. Our attempt to wean them from their cars, in precisely the reverse order we used to phase our teens into driving, has been torture for our parents and for us.
Toys – We have filled our parents’ shelves with new toys to help them with everything from opening cartons of milk (I would like a word with whoever designed those plastic pull loops) and zipping their clothes, to opening jars and removing the protective seals from over-the-counter medicines. A “picker-upper” device helps them avoid bending too low, and a key turner gives them leverage to open their door. Large digital clock faces, easy-to-read telephone keypads, and magnifying glasses keep them in touch with the world, and an e-mail printer keeps them in touch with their grandchildren.
Medicating – Filling those plastic pill box organizers with a week’s worth of medicines has become a personal barometer of competence for our parents, yet, as with our children when they were young, we feel compelled to oversee the dosing.
Mobility – Despite numerous falls, it was only with much teeth gnashing (or denture gnashing, as the case may be) that our mothers consented to use canes; more gnashing when canes gave way to walkers. For long walks, we hide the wheelchair half way there and back so the neighbors don’t see.
The more we do for our parents, the more frail and guilty they feel. Our efforts are sometimes resented. Helping them get in and out of the car, or bracing them under the arm as they negotiate a bumpy sidewalk, can be an affront. “I can do it myself!”
Can I ride my bike to tennis practice if I’m really careful crossing Holly Street? Why can’t I take a cab home from the seniors program at the community center? Can I walk to grandma’s by myself this time? Can I take the bus to the supermarket today? Everyone is hanging out at the park after school, can I go? I’ll just walk down the block to the neighbor’s house this afternoon, O.K.?
What wisdom did we gain the first time around to help us now? Patience, consciousness and white lies.
Patience to wait for them to come to the same conclusions we did. Mom, do you think Rosalind would have fallen and broken both wrists if she had been using a walker?
Consciousness about their need for independence as ballast to our need for their well-being. Why don’t you just let us drive you at night for now?
And white lies: I’m going to the supermarket anyway, we can shop together.
The longer we can protect our parents from harm, the more we can share our lives with them and the more joy they can have from their grandchildren. The trick is doing it without hurting them in other ways.
We have been through this before. It was worth it then, and it is worth it now.
Dr. Harley A. Rotbart is professor and vice chairman of pediatrics at the University of Colorado School of Medicine and the author of “No Regrets Parenting.”
Truce in Gaza Is Close, Egyptian Officials Say
Label: World
JERUSALEM — Diplomatic efforts accelerated on Tuesday to end the deadly confrontation between Israel and Palestinian militants in Gaza, as the United States sent Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton to the Middle East and Egypt’s president and his senior aides expressed confidence that a cease-fire was close.
The diplomatic moves to end the nearly week-old crisis came on a day of some of the most intense violence yet, in what appeared to be efforts by the antagonists to get their last attacks done before a cease-fire went into effect.
Israeli aerial forces assaulted several Gaza targets in multiple strikes, including a suspected rocket-launching site near Al Shifa hospital, which killed more than a dozen people, and Israeli naval vessels launched an intensive shelling aimed at the Gaza coastline. A delegation visiting from the Arab League canceled a news conference at the hospital because of the Israeli aerial assaults as wailing ambulances brought victims in, some of them decapitated.
Militants in Gaza fired a barrage of rockets into southern Israel, killing an Israeli soldier — the first military casualty on the Israeli side since the hostilities broke out last week. The Israel Defense Forces said the soldier, identified as Yosef Fartuk, 18, died from a rocket strike that hit an area near Gaza.
Other Palestinian rockets hit the southern Israeli cities of Beersheba and Ashdod, and longer-range rockets were fired at Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, but neither main city was struck and no casualties were reported. One Gaza rocket hit a building in the Israeli city of Rishon Lezion, just south of Tel Aviv, injuring one person and wrecking the top three floors.
Senior Egyptian officials in Cairo said Israel and Hamas, the militant Islamist group that governs Gaza, were “very close” to a cease-fire agreement that could be announced within hours. “We have not received final approval but I hope to receive it any moment,” said Essam el-Haddad, President Mohamed Morsi’s top foreign affairs adviser.
Foreign diplomats who were briefed on the outlines of a tentative agreement said it had been structured in stages — first, an announcement at approximately 10 p.m. local time (3 p.m. E.S.T.) of a cease-fire, followed by its implementation at midnight, for 48 hours. That would allow time for Mrs. Clinton to arrive, and to create a window for negotiators to agree on conditions for a longer-term cessation of hostilities.
Whether Hamas can enforce control over all of the militant Palestinian factions in Gaza to hold their fire during that period remained unclear.
The announcement of Mrs. Clinton’s active role in efforts to defuse the crisis added a strong new dimension to the multinational push to avert a new Middle East war. Israel has amassed thousands of soldiers on the border with Gaza and has threatened to invade the crowded Palestinian enclave for the second time in four years to stop the persistent rockets that have been lobbed at Israel.
Mrs. Clinton, who accompanied President Obama on his three-country Asia trip, left Cambodia on her own plane immediately for the Middle East. She was en route to Jerusalem to meet with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, then head to the West Bank to meet with Palestinian leaders and finally to Cairo to consult with Egyptian officials.
Mr. Obama made a number of late-night phone calls from his Asian tour to the Middle East on Monday night that contributed to his conclusion that he had to become more engaged and that Mrs. Clinton might be able to accomplish something.
With Ban Ki-moon, the United Nations secretary general, also in Israel on Tuesday, a senior official in Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s office said Israel had decided to give more time to diplomacy before starting a ground invasion into Gaza. But Israel has not withdrawn other options.
“I prefer a diplomatic solution,” Mr. Netanyahu said in a statement at the start of a meeting in Jerusalem with the German foreign minister, Guido Westerwelle. “I hope that we can get one, but if not, we have every right to defend ourselves with other means and we shall use them.
“As you know, we seek a diplomatic unwinding to this, through the discussions of cease-fire,” Mr. Netanyahu added. “But if the firing continues, we will have to take broader action and we won’t hesitate to do so.”
Intensifying the pressure on Hamas after a day of heavy rocket fire out of Gaza against southern Israel, the Israeli military said on Tuesday afternoon that it had distributed leaflets over Gaza instructing the Palestinian residents in several areas to evacuate their homes immediately, “for your safety,” and to move toward defined zones in central Gaza City. That seemed intended to signal that plans for a ground operation were imminent should the cease-fire talks fail. About three hours before Mr. Ban was scheduled to meet Mr. Netanyahu in Jerusalem, sirens sounded across the city in the early afternoon announcing an incoming rocket from Gaza. The military wing of Hamas said it had fired at the city. The rocket fell short, landing harmlessly in the West Bank just south of Jerusalem, and the military said it landed on open ground near a Palestinian village.
The rocket attack on the city, which is holy to Jews, Muslims and Christians, was the second in less than a week. On Friday, a rocket landed in a similar location, the police said.
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